she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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