Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
