Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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