Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
