She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
