someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
two words...techno handjob
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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