nut hugger
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
