you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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