3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
