In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
