You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
