Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
