HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
