you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize