I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
