we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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