Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize