whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
