he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
