thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
