Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
