U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
