it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
