Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
