Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
