How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
