Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
