My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
