Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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