4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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