I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
