Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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