we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
