It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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