Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
