Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
