i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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