perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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