I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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