I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
