If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
