Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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