no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
