I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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