problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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