I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have post one night stand depression
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
