my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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