This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
