dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
did you just send me my own nude
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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