I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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