brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
