I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
