I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
