When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
