I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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