walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He better not be in your backpack
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
