Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
