I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
