GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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