Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
