So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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