literally had 100 drinks last night.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
