I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize