Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
