We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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